This post, has to say the least, been difficult to write. I am not sure why exactly, but this has been a really big deal for me! So some people don’t fully understand what self esteem and self confidence is, basically it is a feeling of doubt in what you do, what you think as a person and it is easily affected by many things. That is what I understand it to be anyway.
I first want to say that I in no way think my experience of this is greater than others, fully understand some people have different experiences and in some cases worse ones 😦 . And I wanted to briefly share my experience and what I plan to do about it, because I am taking action. Well, I want to.
My self confidence means I do not like trying new things, I always overthink things and play out scenarios in my head thinking of the worst possibilites. I feel like I cannot move on in life until it comes to a point where I feel comfortable doing something, aware of the consequences, but still enjoying myself. Because I simply cannot enjoy myself and ‘live life to the full’! I want to be able to try new things, experience new places in my life. It’s weird, just trying to put it into words is so difficult!
An example of my self confidence is this very blog. I think only a handful of my friends are aware of this blog, I have chosen to not share it with all of my friends because in my mind I believe that my ‘friends’ will put me down about it with negative comments, like I say I play out the worst scenario and I believe this to be it.
I think societal pressures have caused people to have bad self confidence. Like, if we do something different that is not us (like me and this blog) then people look at you funny or say something negative, and that kind of thing would put me down and prevent me from doing anything else.
In societies defense, some people can be really supportive of what you do in life! I actually have told a few friends about my blog and plans for YouTube and they have been really supportive and encouraging. These are friends who do matter to me and this has definitely increased my confidence about making YouTube videos and making this blog no longer an anonymous blog. Even if YouTube does not work out, I will feel better knowing that I had tried something new and different.
I think to overcome this I want to make YouTube videos. That way, I am not just showing myself to my friends (If they happen to find my videos) but also everyone else. I sat infront of the camera and was filming my first video and I was shaking really bad and I was sooooo nervous, because I was thinking of what could be said, what could be thought of me, and is what I am doing really right? Just writing this, I am overthinking about if it’s right, like I want to post it but I don’t want to post it and it is unbelievably annoying me and I want to get past that feeling.
So that is my plan, for the upcoming future. I definitely think this is the right step forward for me. Anyone experiencing self confidence/ esteem issues should try and think about what they currently have in their life. Then think if all of that makes you happy and content, now you know there is something missing, it might be something you would never think of or it could be something simple. Mine was that I watch an excessive amount of YouTube and always wanted to do it, but I never have, until now. I am also going to take up running because I feel about unsure of my body image, but I want to mainly do it to help clean my mind and use the time spent to think about everything and feel positive. People say running is good, so I am gonna try it!
Try not to think you are someone who is little, stand tall and proud with a postive attitude and a positive outlook on life. Tidy your surroundings, clear junk out, start afresh and anew.
What are your experiences of this and is there any other way you might suggest to help overcome it and have better self confidence? Let me know
Hope I helped!